Prompt: DEW Challenge: Death & diet. SPN100 Challenge: waste
Characters: Death and Dean Winchester
Word count: 300
Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural or its characters - these were created by Eric Kripke - I'm just borrowing them. I'm not making any commercial gain. No harm or infringement intended.
Summary: Gathered together to mourn a great loss.
Dean sucked in a sudden, surprised breath and immediately started to choke on his double bacon cheeseburger. A moment later, he was down on his knees, gasping to breathe.
Irritated at having been spotted, Death looked around, only to sigh in resignation when it appeared that no one would be coming to the man's aid. He gently tapped Dean on the back and stood clear as an oversized mouthful of beef patty flew out at speed, freeing the previously blocked airway.
"Thanks," coughed Dean manfully, getting to his feet and dusting himself down. "So, what brings Death to the hottest new burger joint in town?" he asked, once he'd got his breath back.
"Oh, I go by Julian these days."
Dean raised an incredulous eyebrow.
"Well, Billie was doing a far better job than I ever was. It seemed churlish to step back in after clearly losing my edge," continued Julian bitterly. "Besides, I'd not had a proper day off for several millennia."
"So pleasure then?" said Dean, eyes narrowing as he took in Julian's general demeanor. "And yet, if you don't mind me saying, you don't seem that happy about it."
"She's got me on a diet," hissed Julian. "She says I've been piling on the pounds and that she's worried as I'm not getting any younger!"
"Sam's been saying exactly the same thing to me too," replied Dean, his shoulders slumping. "It just got so I couldn't take it anymore, and I sneaked out for that," he added, pointing.
They both looked down at the discarded burger lying sad and forgotten until now, its once succulent fillings strewn across the dusty ground.
"Cut down in its prime," wept Julian.
"With so much left to give," sniveled Dean, wiping at one eye.
"Such a waste," they sobbed in unison.