Artist: supernutjapan - please leave her some love here
Original Prompt: I combined two of dizzo’s excellent prompts –
- One of Dean's nocturnal sessions in the back of the Impala; Baby's POV. Perhaps all doesn't go according to plan ...?
- “Dean ... are those … BOOBS??”
Characters: Dean Winchester, original female character and Rowena
Genre: Gen, het, humor
A/N: Thanks to supernutjapan for the great artwork, you chose such perfect images - and thanks for the suggestions, you were my second beta! Thanks to my beta milly_gal for your support and encouragement.
Summary: Dean and Kathy have been getting friendly over a few weeks. Dean really likes her, and she seems to feel the same. It’s time to move things to the back seat of the Impala, what could go wrong?
Kathy was different to the usual girls Dean hooked up with. She was a student nurse; she had gone back to school after having her kid at a young age, and worked two nights a week at Dean’s local bar. She was smart, funny and beautiful. She had long blonde hair, dark brown eyes, a warm smile and a body that went In and out in all the right places. They had flirted for a few weeks now, laughing and chatting with each other whenever they could while she worked, and even more when she took her break. But she always refused to meet up with him after her shift, as she said she had to get back for the babysitter.
So, Dean was taken aback one night when she leaned forward and whispered, “I can finish up an hour early, d’you wanna drive me home?” then winked at him.
Dean had nodded, stupidly, before finding his voice. “Yeah, sure, yeah, that will be...nice...I mean great...I mean...”
“And there was me, thinking you were smooth...” Kathy sighed dramatically.
Dean grinned at her. “I’m silky smooth, with a side of nervous.”
“You, nervous?” She laughed. “Hon, you have nothin’ to worry about.”
While she worked, Dean played pool with some guys he knew from the bar but couldn’t help glancing over at Kathy from time to time. A couple of the guys noticed and teased him, and he could feel himself blushing, which was ridiculous. He wasn’t a teenager with his first crush – even if he did feel like it.
As he leaned over to take a shot, his arm brushed his chest and it felt wrong. He must be putting on weight; Sam kept lecturing about his diet - ‘fries aren’t vegetables, Dean’, ‘would it kill you to eat some salad?’, ‘your cholesterol must be sky high with all the junk you eat’ and so on. It was fine, he could lose the weight - he’d do some sit ups and perhaps give Sam a shock by joining him for a run.
By the time Kathy joined him, he felt less nervous and joked around, taking her hand to kiss it, saying ‘Your chariot awaits, m’lady,”
“Thank ye kindly, good sir,” Kathy replied, smiling.
As Dean started up the Impala, Kathy said, “So, there’s a quiet place I know where we call pull over,”
“Pull over?” Dean repeated, hoping she meant what he thought.
“Yep,” she glanced over her shoulder at the back seat. “The back seat sure looks big enough, and I bet you’ve tried it out before.”
“Once or twice,” Dean grinned, feeling the stupid blush return to his cheeks, and thankful that Kathy couldn’t see it in the dark.
“Take a left, then a right. It’s a track to an abandoned farm, so no one goes down there.”
“Perfect.” Dean swung the wheel, and they were soon parked up. It was kinda nice to be on the track to an abandoned farm without being on the way to tackle a ghost or some fugly monster.
“I’ve wanted to do this for such a long time,” Kathy said as she inched towards him and stroked his face. Dean leaned into her touch, wanting more, wanting it all to last.
“Me too,” He moved to join her, and they kissed, her hand reaching around the back of his neck, his arms wrapping around her slender body. As first kisses went, it was one of the best -and Dean had no idea how many first kisses he’d had over his lifetime. Kathy wasn’t shy or too demanding. She kissed him back with the same intensity that he kissed her, and soon their tongues were exploring, hot and insistent. They parted with a mutual need for air.
“Wow,” Dean grinned.
“Yeah,” Kathy agreed.
They climbed out of the car, and Dean scooted round to capture her in his arms and lean her against his Baby, so that he could kiss her perfect lips again and taste her sweet mouth. When they parted this time, they were both laughing as they looked at each other in the moonlight.
“I feel like a teenager again!” Kathy giggled.
“Yeah, you make me feel like one, too,” Dean admitted.
“I meant the whole making out in a car...” Kathy smiled.
“Oh yeah, yeah, me too,” Dean blushed, and Kathy brought her hand up to caress his face. He was really starting to like the touch of her hand on his face.
“Don’t lie to me, Mr Smooth,” she chastised him with a grin. “I think that’s really sweet,”
“Oh God, sweet is so not-sexy,” Dean groaned.
“Who says so? I think you are sexy as fuck, and I like that you’re sweet, too. Perfect combo.”
“Really? Well, I think you’re sexy too, and sassy, and smart.”
“Really?” She repeated, pulling his head down to kiss him briefly. “And I think we’ve done enough talking, don’t you?”
“Hell, yeah!” Dean nodded, wondering where Kathy had been all his life. Then figuring if she’d been in his life, she’d be dead or brain-wiped by now. He pushed the thoughts of Lisa away and smiled at Kathy before kissing her once more.
This time the kiss was more passionate; Dean was getting hard and was pretty sure Kathy could feel him against her body. She started to push his jacket off of his shoulders and soon he was down to his t-shirt and he’d managed to remove her jacket and unbutton her jeans.
Dean fumbled to open the Impala’s back door and they parted so that Kathy could lay across the back seat, and she wriggled out of her jeans as Dean removed his own before climbing on top of her.
“Have you got...?” Kathy asked.
“Oh, yeah,” Dean grinned. “I’m always prepared,”
“What a boy Scout you are!” Kathy laughed.
Kathy ran her hands up underneath his t-shirt to stroke his stomach, then moved up to his chest. Dean felt her stiffen as she cried out, “Dean...are those...BOOBS?”
Dean sat back and reached up to feel his chest. Holy fuck, they were boobs. Fucking huge boobs. What the ever-loving fuck. Just his luck.
“Shit, I’m gonna kill that witch...” Dean cussed, before he could filter his words.
“Did..did you say witch?” Kathy asked, wide eyed and sitting up against the back seat.
“Bitch, I said bitch,” Dean grumbled, as he climbed back out of the Impala.
“Dean, wait, what the hell’s going on? Are you trans...?”
“No, nothing like that. It’s too difficult to explain,” Dean sighed, “but hopefully it’s just temporary.”
“Are you on steroids or something?” Kathy was trying so hard not to freak out, and Dean was tempted to tell her the truth. But how could he tell her that he’d pissed off a red-haired bitch of a witch. Honestly, who knew Rowena would be such a sensitive flower? He’d only asked her where she bought her wigs.
“Yeah, I guess that’s it. I’ve been working out. My...my brother got me to try steroids. Gonna kill that little bitch,” Dean went with the lie. He was torn between wanting to be with Kathy and wanting to get as far away from her as possible. He knew she wouldn’t want him now, and having huge boobs was a bit of a turn-off for him as well as her. He was so fucking embarrassed. And he was going to kill Rowena. “I’ll take you home.”
“Thanks,” Kathy climbed out of the car and got in the front seat. Dean slid behind the steering wheel and paused for a moment before starting the engine.
“I’m really sorry, Kathy,” he turned to face her. “I didn’t know...well, I felt a bit strange earlier, but I just thought I’d put on some weight – too many burgers – I had no idea I’d grown fucking huge moobs.”
“How could they, well, grow so quickly?” Kathy’s voice was a little shaky and Dean wasn’t sure if she was shocked or trying not to laugh. It was kinda funny but right now he was too embarrassed and disappointed to see the funny side.
“I think I must be...um... allergic...” Dean turned the radio on, hoping to avoid any further awkward conversation.
When ‘Dude Looks Like a Lady’ came on, he wanted the Impala’s bench seat to open beneath him and swallow him whole.
Kathy started to giggle, and Dean glanced at her, saw her put her hand over her mouth as her shoulders shook, and he started to laugh as well.
“I don’t fucking believe it,” Dean groaned, “this is just my luck.”
“You know, I’m a little freaked out by the moobs, but I’ve always had a thing for a guy in lace panties.” Kathy admitted with a grin.
“Really?” Dean asked, thinking back to the time he’d tried on Rhonda Hurley’s panties when he was nineteen - and he’d liked it. Damn, Kathy was so freaking perfect.
“Honestly. I’m not just saying it to make you feel better.”
“Thanks,” Dean sighed. It didn’t take long to reach Kathy’s and Dean felt an overwhelming sense of loss as he said goodbye to her. He’d never be able to face her again, so he’d lost her as a friend as well as a potential girlfriend.
“Hey, once you get...fixed up, give me a call,” Kathy said.
“Are you sure?” Dean could hardly believe it.
“Of course I am. I admit I was weirded out, but I really like you, Dean. And I’d really like to try out that backseat again.” She held her hand out. “Give me your phone.” She added her number to his contacts list and gave it back to him.
“You’re fucking awesome, Kathy.” Dean smiled at her. “Thanks for being so...cool about it all.”
“You may kiss my hand, good sir,” she joked, and Dean kissed her hand gratefully.
“Hello Dean, how do you like your...additions?” Rowena smiled serenely up at him from her seat at a table in a local wine bar. Dean had decided to try to reason with Rowena, as he didn’t really want to kill her, and certainly didn’t want to piss her off any further. But seeing her smug face made his trigger finger twitch. He took a minute to calm down as he took a seat and smiled back at her.
“Well, I’m not so keen, and they kinda freaked my date out.” He growled.
“Oh dear, I hope the poor lass is okay?”
“Yeah, she’s cool. But I’m gonna level with you – I need these gone.” Dean glanced around to make sure no one was looking, then gestured at his boobs, which seemed to have grown even larger. “I really like Kathy and I can’t lose her before we’ve had a chance to see where it goes.”
“Dean, I don’t believe I’ve ever heard you sound so sincere; or that we’ve ever had a conversation where you haven’t insulted me,”
“Yeah, well, I’m sorry about that,” Dean sighed. “An’ I’m sorry for what I said. So, can you break the spell now?”
“Not so fast, lover boy.” Rowena held up a hand. “You need to learn a lesson in how to treat people, especially those who can be your allies – or your enemies,”
“Okay, I get it, I’ve learned my lesson,”
“I will reduce them over a period of time, if you agree to be my...escort,”
“I ain’t sleeping with you,” Dean retorted.
“No, of course not, you are not my type at all,” She regarded him coolly. “I just want you to accompany me to a few engagements, some wee shopping trips, that kind of thing.”
“What kind of engagements?” Dean asked, eyebrow raised.
“The opera, a ballet, a jazz bar, perhaps a poetry rectal...”
All things Dean would rather crawl through a sewer covered in shapeshifter yuck than go to. “Son of a bitch!” he growled, and his boobs grew another inch. “Okay, okay. You win.”
“Excellent. It’s going to be such fun, Dean, you’ll see!” Rowena replied.
So, Dean found himself spending a lot of time with Rowena, doing things he hated, especially as Rowena made him wear a smart suit – Armani or something like that – and he had to bind his freaking boobs to make his chest flatter, just like that chick in ‘Shakespeare in Love’. Not that he’d ever watched that, no way. But he found that his attitude towards Rowena changed; he liked her wit and her part-cynical, part-optimistic outlook on life, and he started to enjoy their outings. One evening, after a few drinks at a classy bar, Dean told her exactly what happened on the backseat, and her laughter made several heads turn to look at them. To his surprise, Dean joined in. It was kinda funny.
With each trip, his boobs reduced and within a month he was flat chested once again and extremely relieved. Sam hadn’t noticed – the layers Dean usually wore covered the boobs up – but he did comment about the frequency of Dean’s dates. “Don’t go pissing off the locals, Dean,” he had warned him. Huh.
Dean had texted Kathy a few times, just to let her know he was receiving ‘treatment’ and that it was going well. She’d been happy for him and said she couldn’t wait to see him again.
“So, Mr Winchester, you’re all fixed.” Rowena proclaimed at the end of their last outing – an expensive restaurant where Dean had steak with a friggin’ fancy salad (Sam would never believe that) instead of fries, but the Apple Tarte Tatin had made up for it. “I am going to miss our little outings.”
“Me too,” Dean admitted.
“Really?” She arched her eyebrow and leaned closer. “That does surprise me.”
“Well, you’re not as much of a bitch-witch as I thought you were,”
“And you’re not the huge lumbering oaf I thought you were,”
Dean grinned. “Touché.”
“You’ve been surprisingly good company.” She regarded him for a moment. “I wonder if I could call upon you from time to time to accompany me?”
“On condition – no opera or friggin’ ballet. And definitely no poetry.” Dean shuddered. “It was like being tortured by the Vogons,”
“I never knew you were a Hitchhiker’s fan,” Rowena exclaimed, adding with a wink, “I never knew you could read,”
“Sweetheart, there’s still a lot you don’t know about me,” Dean winked back.
“Touché,” Rowena smiled. “So, you’d be willing to come with me to jazz clubs, restaurants and bars?”
“Sure, where else am I gonna wear these suits?” Dean replied, adding with a grin, “Be a crime not to wear ‘em, I look smokin’ hot.”
“Dean promise me one thing?” Rowena smiled.
“Bring Kathy here, wear one of your nice wee suits.” Rowena said. “A girl needs more than a romp on the back seat of the Impala.”
Dean laughed and held his hand out to Rowena. “It’s a deal.”
Rowena placed her tiny hand in his and they shook hands. Dean felt he’d made a friend, although he would never completely trust the red-haired witch.
Dean felt nervous as he walked into the bar for the first time in weeks. Kathy wasn’t there, and his heart sank. She had told him to meet her here, and obviously had decided against it. Who would want to date a freak? He ordered a beer and leaned despondently against the bar.
“Hey there, Dean,” Kathy greeted him, and he looked up to see her smiling face behind the bar.
“Kathy...wow, you look so good.”
“Thanks, you too,” her eyes dropped down to his chest and back to his face. “All better?”
“Never better,” Dean grinned. “especially now I’ve seen you.”
“Did you really think I wouldn’t want to see you?” Kathy reached out and touched his arm. “I saw how sad you looked just now.”
“Well, I could hardly blame you if you changed your mind,” Dean shrugged.
“Let’s put it all behind us and start afresh. My shift ends in an hour, okay?”
“Yeah, that’s great,” Dean smiled, feeling like it was his first real smile since he had last seen her.
When her shift finished, they couldn’t wait to get into the car, and Kathy pushed Dean up against the driver’s door to kiss him, her hands moving over his chest as if wanting to reassure herself that Dean was now boob-free. She sighed with relief as her hands met his flat chest and as her fingertips grazed over his nipples, he moaned in pleasure.
“I can’t wait to get you spread out in that back seat, Dean.” Kathy whispered. “Oh, the things I’m gonna do to you...”
Dean shuddered in anticipation. “I can’t wait to find out.”
As soon as they arrived at the quiet side road, they quickly stripped off each other’s clothes and climbed into the back seat, with Dean on his back. Kathy knelt above him and stoked his stomach, chest and shoulders, then played with his nipples until he was arching up and begging her to stop...to never stop...
She leaned down to kiss him, then sat back, smiling at him as she pushed his boxers down and stroked his already hard dick.
Dean’s hands were on Kathy’s slim hips, then he moved them up and stilled, gasping out in mock-surprise, ”Kathy...are those...BOOBS??”
She laughed “Oh very funny, Mr Man Boobs!”
Dean grinned, feeling happier than he had in... he couldn’t remember.
Kathy was so great, and he really hoped this was the start of something. He couldn’t wait to wear the black lace panties Rowena had helped him buy. Or the emerald green ones...or the ivory silk ones. He kinda knew Kathy would appreciate them.
The End :)