Characters: Sam, Dean
Summary: Missing scene from The French Mistake where the guys have to participate in a barely-dressed photoshoot for a charity photo auction. Inspired by dizzojay's naked!Dean series... because I'm honestly not a perv unless I'm unduly influenced. I swear.
“This is stupid! They oiled my chest.”
“Relax, Sammy. Just go with it,” Dean mumbled out of the side of his mouth as he concentrated on striking poses and making eyes at the cute camera girl.
“Have you seen yourself, Dean? If The Village People ever decide to add a new member, you could be The Hunter.”
Dean looked down at himself and shrugged. Sam had a point. He was barely dressed in flannel boxer briefs that were at least one size too small, and a pair of hiking boots. To top it all off, he had a gun holster slung around his hips complete with a prop pistol. “So? I’m sure the ladies will like it. Bet I set a new record for highest bid in a charity photo auction.”
“I have a huge rubber knife strapped to my calf,” Sam hissed. “And they didn’t even give me any shoes.”
“At least I talked ‘em outta the banana hammocks. Man! Who knew they made those things in denim?”
“Okay guys,” the camera girl interrupted. “You’re doing great! Just a few more shots to go. Now I want you two to turn slightly and look at each other really intensely. Like you want to eat each other alive.”
Dean did a double take. “Excuse me?”
“Come on Jensen, sweetie,” she winked. “You know it’ll bring more money if you cater to a certain demographic.”
“Demographic? What the hell is she talking about?” he asked under his breath.
Sam glared at his brother and whispered back. “What demographic do you think, dumbass? Fangirls are gonna bid on these shots. Fangirls like Becky…” he added with a raised brow.
“You don’t mean? OH HELL NO! Screw you Padeleski, this is all your fault!”
“It’s Padalecki and why is this suddenly my fault?”
“Because the so-called charity is the International Otter Adoption Foundation. That shit has fake-you and fake-Ruby written all over it. So yeah, I blame your stupid fake-ass for this. I friggin’ hate you, Sam!”
The last part of Dean’s tirade came out loud enough to be heard by the photographer. “Awesome work, Jensen!” she gushed. “I’m really buying the passionate anger. You’re even in character. Jared, honey, I need you to take your cue from Jensen and dig deep. Make me believe it. Remember, it’s for the otters.”